Questions from the audience
by froggyluvs
Summary: Questions answered by mr. devilbat. just read it...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I do not own Eyeshield 21 and this is merely fictional and is not based on anything but my own imagination…

Questions from the audience for Mr. DevilBat….

A Certain Ha-ha trio: Is Hiruma a Devil?

Experiment:

Puts Hiruma in a room whose heat can kill the average him there for an hour

Conclusion: Hiruma is perfectly fine and becomes even more demonic

Responds/testominials:

Kekeke. Best sauna I've been to in my life. Now to shoot at a certain trio....

…That's up to you to decide. I'll hide and beg for forgiveness if i were you...

A certain fast running back: Why does Hiruma like gum?

…Who knows, maybe to fill his mouth with something else other than a cigarette. (See manga, the chapter where Hiruma kidnaps Monta)

Girl Stalker: Where does Hiruma live? Please stalk him and find out.

DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!!!!!!

A guy who has no life: Why does everyone call Hiruma, Hiruma, and not Youichi?

Obviously because they don't want to die a painful death. The only ones brave enough are an certain blue-haired cheerleader and a nice oldie who owns that sports shop. (See Manga)

Nerd with a mohawk: Mr. DevilBat, why did Hiruma pick you as the mascot for the Deimon Devil Bats?

Cause I'm handsome. *snickers in the audience*

Some guy in a turtleneck: Does Hiruma-san have any siblings?

If he does, pray to god and hope for the best.

Crazed Girl says: OMG, I LUV YOUICHI, OMG, OMG, OMG, I LUV YOU YOUICHI!!!!!

...Okay, go see help...

Does Hiruma like Mamori-nee san?

Well, if you want my opinion, ye- BAM…Fucking audience questions. DIE all of you!!! *Shots at everyone in the audience*KeKeKeKe

I'm sorry everyone, the show is canceled due to a certain quaterback rampage, please run for your life thank you***

**Author note: **How's that for a first time?


	2. Chapter 2

Question for Sena

Girl with a poodle: What kind of girls does Sena like?

...A certain blue haired cheerleader. *Sena* *blush*

Boy in a bikini: Does Sena have any pets?

A cat (see manga)

Man in Black: Is Sena afraid of Hiruma's aim?

Well, let's do a quick experiment...

Experiment report 1/ 17/09

Set-up: Sena will stand in front of a certain blond devil who is carrying a bazooka with a apple on his head

Hypothesis: Sena will run with fear while Hiruma shoots at him with a bunch of firearm laughing madly with delight.

Responds/ Testimonials:

Sena says: Please I beg you, no more...*soul comes out of every pore of his body*

Hiruma says: Kekekeke, best experiment I ever did in my fucking life. *laughs until the verge of death*

Audience: *sweatdrops*


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sorry everyone, I forgot the disclaimer on the last chapter, please forgive me!!

I do not own Eyeysheild 21 or any of the characters

Questions for Mamori

Guy from Deimon High: What is Mamori bust size?

Wel-*Mamori comes out and smacks Mr. Devilbat on the head* "..Nevermind"

A certain blond quaterback: What's the fucking manager weakness besides those fucking creampuffs? Kekekeke

....*sweatdrops* I have a feeling you're gonna use that as blackmail

Ceratin blond quarterback: You got that right fucking mascot, KEKEKEKE

Audience: *sweatdrops and move away from the madman*

Girl whose head looks like a melon on a toothpick: How far will Mamori-nee chan go for creampuffs?

*Sigh* Another experiment....

Experiment 1/17/09

Set-up: Dump a rare and delicious creampuff into the ocean with sharks and the giant squid. Pose Mamori on top of a cliff and make her see the scene.

Hypothesis: Mamori will jump into the ocean with her broom and battle off the sharks and the giant squid.

Results: You have to feel sorry for the sharks and squid

Respnds/Testmonials:

Monta and Sena "Mamori nee chan" *sweatdrops*

Mamori *blushes*

Hiruma: Kekekekeke, fucking manger I caught you on film. The disciple committee officer hitting poor animals with an broom for a single creampuff. Kekekeke.

Mamori: HIRUMAAAA!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers: Don't own Eyeshield 21, but I totally own this interview

Questions for Suzuna

Fatso in a orange shirt carrying a pink bunny: Why is Suzuna always on skates?

Hmmm...let's look into the past pictures of Suzuna when she was a kid....

Picture of Suzuna when she was five

68 pounds and growing.

Picture of Suzunna when she was 10

135 pounds and growing

Picture of Suzuna when she was 14

100 pounds

...Wait, what's with that gap in numbers...well anyways, Suzuna is always on skates because she was a fatty with wei-*Suzuna appears and throws a pom-pom at Mr. Devilbat*

THEY DO NOT PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stalker with a basket full of laundry: What's with that blue hair, did she dye it?

Suzuna: No I did not. This is my natural hair color. YAAA!!!

Aren't I'm suppose to be doing the show??? *sweatdrops*

Girl with a orange Mohawk: Does Suzuna like Sena? I mean, they're always together...

Well, that question can be answered with an ye-*Suzuna shoves Mr. Devilbats*

**Suzuna con't: BREAKING NEWS, next episode will feature a live interview with the two most favorite parings, You-nii and Mamori nee san, YAAAAA!!!!**

Hiruma: What the fuck, no one asked for my permission!!! I'll kill you, you fucking cheerleader. *Shoots random bullets at the audience*

*Mamori makes a disgusted face* Suzuna chan, me and Hiruma are strictly professionals....*breaks clipboard*

Suzuna: YAAAA, the host will be your truly with questions from the audience!! Join us for the interview!!

....Wait, this is my job...I'm being replaced by a overly excited cheerleader???? MUST GET REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5 Live interview, with a twist

Live interview with Hiruma and Mamori!!!

Suzuna: Welcome everyone to our first interview with the both pairing results!!! YAA

*_sticks the microphone into Hiruma face_* Tell us You-nii, how does it feel to be in love with Mamo-nee chan?

*_Gets out gun_* Fuck off cheerleader or you'll be sent to hell, YAHA. *Dark aura filled with bats and evilness*

Suzuna: Well it's obvious you two love each other, admit it!!!!!!

Mamori: Su-Zu-Na Ch-an....*dark aura* We are strictly professional *breaks the coffee table in front of them*

Audience: Scarey..*_sweatdrops_*

Suzuna: Well then, lets start with the first question. "Many fanfiction are written about you two, what do you think about them?"

Mamori and Hiruma:_ *glares daggers*_

Suzuna: the second question is, "Who is your father Hiruma?"

Hiruma: _*tries to pull off a innocent face* _Like I said, he is in jail for faking stocks, he's also a well known shoji player and is a psychologist of the human body. Kekekekeke

Audience: That's obviously a lie

Suzuna: The third question, or more like statement, is, "Mamori is so obviously in love with the demon quarterback, I mean, look at the way she took care of him in the Death March"

Mamori: *_prays_*, please kami-sama, let me hold my temper, or so help me god and all those unfortunate dead corpse*

Suzuna: The next ques-BAM *_lights all turn off, pitch dark, utter chaos_*

Ladies and gentleman, let's give our REAL host a good welcome, Mr. Devilbat!!!! Suzuna chan had an....unfortunate accident and I will be filling in for her. Kekekeke

Hiruma: Kekekeke, well I did create him, my aura must have rubbed off on him, *_laughs till the verge of death*_

Audience: *_we shouldn't had come here_*

BOOM!!!!

Suzuna pops out with one of Hiruma's bazookas tied in chains: " You stupid bat, I'll make you pay!!"

_**Mr. Devil Bat vs. Suzuna**_

(How will that turn out?)

Mamori: Well folks, that's all for our live interview, I hope you all enjoyed it!

Hiruma: Kekekeke, hey fucking manager, look what I got *takes out picture* The disciple committee officier eating all the creampuff in the backstage!

Mamori: AHHHH, HIRUMMAA

Hiruma: Kekekeke, this show turned out to be good after all, YAHA


	6. Chapter 6 Letter from Reader

**Disclaimer: I don't own Eyeshield 21 Go Hiruma!!!**

Today, we have a special guest request from Ayla/Tsukiko.

She would like some of her answers to be answered by me the great Mr. Devilbat.

"_I have some questions for some of the team members!_

_Hiruma: are you gay, bisexual, or straight? *Please be straight, please be_

_straight!* And do you have any crushes?_

_For Sena and Hiruma: How do you two feel about the HiruSena pairing and the_

_fanfictions/doujinshis/artwork/ about you two? Or the ShinSena_

_and...ShinHiruma pairings? Please don't kill me, I'm not a yaoi fangirl, I_

_swear! I prefer HiruOC, SenaSuzu, and HiruMamo anyway...But HiruOC FTW!_

_Mamori-neechan...CREAM PUFF! -throws a cream puff in random direction- I_

_couldn't resist XD_

_Suzuna: have you and Sena kissed yet?_

_Monta: bananas are the worst fruit in the world! I'm kidding, they're_

_delicious. But seriously, you gotta work harder to win Mamori-nee's heart_

_before someone else does! Try telling her your love through cream puffs. If_

_the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, maybe it works with Mamori_

_too._

_Devilbat: I love this! Can't wait for the next episode._

_--Ayla/Tsukiko (choose whichever you prefer)"_

_*sob*_ That last sentence was so heartwarming, I need a moment...

Since, I, the great DevilBat-sama cannot answer all of your questions, we have asked some special guest to come and tell us personally about how they feel in terms of the letter.

*cheering and applause* We have invited Hiruma, Sena, Monta, Suzuna, and Mamori. *More Cheering*

Now, for the first question from Ayla san, Hiruma, are you gay, bisexual, or straight?

Hiruma: *pulls out gun and start shooting at the ceiling* Of course I'm straight, in fact I lik- *pause, sneaks a look at a certain manager* never mind...forget it. I'm straight dammit!!!

Audience: *_sweatdrops*_

...Okay, the next question asks what Hiruma and Sena thinks about pairing themselves with other guys. What's your respense?

Hiruma: *_shoots at ceiling*_, that's a bunch of bullshit!!!!! DIE THE PEOPLE WHO WRITES THAT STUFF!!!

How about you Sena?

Sena: *borrows Hiruma's bazooka* *shoots at ceiling*

Mamori: SENNAA!!! Hiruma Kun!! Don't contaminate Sena!!

We're gonna need another ceiling....

Now then, Mamori, let's try a little experiment... if I throw this creampuff in a random direction _*Throws a delicious creampuff*_...what will you do-*_whoosh_*

Oh my god, she's on a rampage, she's destroying the studio!!!

Sena and Monta: Mamori neechan _*sweatdrops*_

Hiruma: Recording for blackmail, kekekekekek. The disciple officier destroys studio, how scandalous. YAHA

Mamori: You are so annoying!! _*blushes*_

Suzuna, have you kissed Sena yet?

Audience: _*lends forward*_

Suzuna: _*blushes and whacks him on his head*_

Sena: _*blushes a deep red*_

Now Monta, what do you think about Alya san's advice?

"_Try telling her your love through cream puffs. If_

_the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, maybe it works with Mamori_

_too."_

Monta: Advice MAX!!!_ *rushes out of the studio to buy creampuffs*_

Well then people, I hope you enjoyed our segment of "Qusetion from the readers"

Great, now my salary is going to be cut because of the ceiling, *murmurs*, Baka hiruma *murmur*

Hiruma: What did you say, fucking mascot?? *shoots*

I"M SORRY!!!!!!

**Author note: Thx Ayla for contributing to this episode *give's her a round of appaluse* **


	7. Chapter 7 The show must live!

Disclaimer: Don't own Eyeshield 21, I ain't the mastermind behind this hit manga, wish I was though ^^

YaHa!!! It is I the great DevilBat sama!! Before we begin the show, let's give a big thanks to Ayla-san who gave us a new Hiruma-proof and a Mamori-on-a-cream-puff-induced-rampage-proof studio. And may I bring your attention to this new tux? YaHa, let's begin the show!!!

Ayla-san, our forever faithful fan has a question for Hiruma-kun.

"_Do you have any blackmail on Sena and Suzuna, aka a video of them on_

_a date or a picture of a kiss? If so, please share! I'll be your willing_

_slave! ... crap, what did I just get myself into? Damn my fangirlness! Ah_

_well. -shruggle-"_

Well Hiruma-kun, do you?

Hiruma: Kekeke, so you are that willing to be my fucking slave huh? YaHa! Another free labor slave!!

*Takes out a projector and a tape*

*tapes begins*

"Sena, I want to tell you something"

"What is it Suzuna chan?"

"I have always..since the first time at the stadium...notice you. I..um..like you!!"

*surprise* "I..um..uh...*_faints_*"

Hiruma: The fucking twerp ended up forgetting this whole episode due to his lack of romantic issues. BUT, lucky I just happen to past by, and I just happen to have a video camera, and I just happen to have this tape with me. I recorded this beautiful confession so that fucking chibi will_never_forget this beautiful incident. Kekekekeke _*laughs to the verge of death*_

Suzuna: You-nii!! That's obviously forged, I did no such thing!!! *_blushes*_

Hiruma: Kekekekeke...fucking girl just asked for a video, she didn't say anything about having it being real. *_laughs again*_

Audience: *sweatdrops*

Oh, the next question is for me..._"Where's Deviba? He's so cute!"_ well that little devil is-POP!

DevilBa: I'm back!!! *Yaha* Next episode will be full of questions from the readers!1 So until we get at least 10 question, this show wouldn't be able to go on!!! *yaha*

You heard him folks, hurry up and give me questions so I won't lose my job!! Just click that review button!! YAHA!

**Author: Thank you once again Ayla san!! I was having a writer's block ^^ Now I just need 10 or more questions from separate people to get started on my next segment....**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author note: Okay ppl, I really this is the last episode of Questions from the audience due to the lack of readers and questions *sob8 hope you all enjoy this last episode!!**

Question from Ayla:

For the Haha Bros: How'd you all meet?

Haha Trio: WE ARE NOT BROTHERS!!!!! We meet at the arcade dammit, AND FOR THE LAST TIME, WE ARE NOT BROTHERS!!

...Okay, no need to get emotional...next question from Ayla again.

For Hiruma: What's your past?! And dare I ask if you have any tasks for me?

Hiruma: *tries to put on an innocent face* I was a drunkard that lived at the casino in Madagascar. I walked naked and I lived on salt water. I also fought in World War I and began World War II. Kekekekekekeke

Audience: Lies...at least make it believable..

Hiruma: Kekekeke, I got a task for you fucking girl, kekekeke, gun down everyone until they watch this episode. YAHA

...no comment

Next question from Jillian Leonhart ...

I have a question for Hiruma-san!! Why are you haven't wear a glasses yet?! We all know how many hours you spent infront your laptop. Your eyes must be minus by now. Or, are you wearing contact lens?

Hiruma: *tries to say this innocently* who me? Glasses? I got them right here...*pulls out a big lens* Allow me to demostrate how it works..*puts them* *pulls out a gun* *shoots at Sena* Kekeke, we these babies I can shoot things from 5 miles apart if not more. Kekekekekeke

...Please be a good citizen and not try that at home or anywhere else...

A question from xDarklightx:

Hiruma: what is with you and your father?

Huh huh bros: Huh? Huuh? Huuuuuh? WHY DOES THAT BASTARD HIRUMA GET ALL THE SPOTLIGHTS!!!!!!!

Hiruma: *shoots them down* My father is in China digging for gold and we are sadly apart. We e-mail each other every day but we miss each other oh so much. I was so hurt that he left me..*sob**sob**sob*

Audience: So not true *sweatdrops*

I thought he was a shoji player that studies the human body and got arrested for fake stocks?

Hiruma: Don't mind the fucking details, *Cocks guns* bad things happen to people who are nosy. Kekekekeke

When we come back from the commercial break we have two special guest that we would like to introduce....

*crappy soap commercial*

Now then, a special interview with the aces of the Ojo White Knights...

*appaluse and cheers*

Shin and Sakuraba have kindly agreed to show up today..we have a few other questions from the audience..

Crazed fan of Sakuraba: SAKURABA!! *foams at the mouth and faints*

Sakuraba: *sweatdrops*

...Uh-huh, who's next?

Boy with a Mohawk: Who is more clueless with technology? A caveman or Shin?

..*sigh* another experiment...

Experiment 1: Puts Shin in a room with a cavemen who was founded by Hiruma..who knows how. Puts a flashlight next to them

Conclusion: Caveman is enjoying the flashlight and continuously flickers it on and off. Shin's is used as a pull up bar.

Experiment 2: Puts Shin and caveman in front of the computer. The website is yahoo. They are to create a account.

Conclusion: Caveman figured how to work it in 3 months. Shin's is beyond repair in 3 seconds.

...*sweatdrops* I think you know who's worse in technology....

**Author note: well ladies and gents...if you have anymore questions, you can post it on the review board, I would love to hear more and if I get enough, I might ust put this In-Progress instead of Complete ^^**


	9. Chapter 9

**HELLO PPL OF THE INTERNET!~!!! I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND DECIDED TO CONTINUE THIS SHOW…**

**DevilBat-sama-----I'mmmmmm back!!!!!!!!!**

CanadianCookie has asked ……

"_Was there a point in Taki's life where he wasn't an idiot?  
How many words can You-chan type per minute?  
What is the favorite color of socks for everyone in the Deimon Devilbats team? Yeah, I know, I don't know why I'm asking that, either...  
Does You-chan like gummy bears?  
Is there anything other than football that Shin is really good in?  
What is the exact number of slaves that You-chan has?  
What is Sena's favorite ice cream flavour?  
From how far away can Mamo-nee smell a cream puff?  
Does Mon-mon (Monta) like any other fruit besides bananas?  
COOKIES ARE YUMMY!"_

**Okay, that's alotttt of questions to go through so I, the great DevilBat have decided to give the privilege of not one, but two episodes for CanadianCookie's questions…**

"_Was there a point in Taki's life where he wasn't an idiot…."_

**DevilBat:** ladies and gentlemans, I present to you the deimon devilbat time machine that has just appear out of nowhere!!!!

_When Taki was a toddler…._

"_I am king!!" *twirls on one foot then falling down on his face*_

_When Taki was 10…._

"_My Ladies" *rips open his shirt*_

_When he was 13…._

_In math class.._

"_What is 9 x 9 ?_

_Taka---18 of course!!!_

Need I say anymore??

"…_How many words can You-chan type per minute?..."_

_**Experiment:**__ Lock Hiruma in a room with a laptop for exactly 1 minute. _

_**Result:**__ 5893 words and still typing. Don't ask me what he's doing; I don't want to die…_

"_What is the favorite color of socks for everyone in the Deimon Devilbats team? Yeah, I know, I don't know why I'm asking that, either..."_

**Devilbat:** well, to be honest with you, a certain blond headed demon has threatened everyone to say their favorite color socks are black and red. I think you can guess the reason…

"…_Does You-chan like gummy bears?..."_

_**Experiment:**__ Give Hiruma a bag of gummy bears. Leave it in his locker in the Deimon Devilbats clubhouse. _

_**Results**__: Next day, the bag was empty. But strangely, during the Deimon Devilbats morning practice, the gunshots used by the demon captain were strangely soft and edible. _

"…_Does Mon-mon (Monta) like any other fruit besides bananas?..."_

_**Devilbat:**__ Well, let's do a experiment…_

_**Experiment:**__ Blindfold Monta. Place 3 fruits in front of him, orange, kiwi, and a banana._

_**Results:**__ Monta used his nose to sniff the fruits and toss the orange and the kiwi, peeled the banana with his toes and ate it._


	10. Chapter 10

_**To all readers: Sorry for the 4 year hiatus! Got caught up in high school and now that I finally graduated I have more time on my hand than ever! I haven't read Eyeshield 21 in a long time so forgive me for any mistakes! **_

_**Its been 4 years my fellow followers! I, the great DevilBat, have return from my four year hibernation. lets continue where we left off shall we?**_

_**the rational hedgehog (sorry for the long wait)**_

_"Is there anything other than football that Shin is really good in?_

_What is the exact number of slaves that You-chan has?_

_What is Sena's favorite ice cream flavour?_

_From how far away can Mamo-nee smell a cream puff?_

_Does Mon-mon (Monta) like any other fruit besides bananas?_

_COOKIES ARE YUMMY!"_

_Is there anything other than football that Shin is really good in?_

DevilBat: *Sweatdrops* To be honest, we dont really know...he can lift weights and become a bodybuilder does that count?

_What is the exact number of slaves that You-chan has?_

Hiruma: *notches gun* Kekekeke why do you fucking wanna know? Heehee, even the fucking United States president works for me *cackles evilily*

Moving on...

_What is Sena's favorite ice cream flavour?_

DevilBat: Experiment timeeeee

_**Experiment: **__Blindfolds Sena and send him into a ice cream factory (curtesy to Hiruma's "friendly coversation" with the manager)_

_**Results:**__ Sena gets stuck in a giant metal thingy that holds all the icecream...coincedentally it was the new DevilBat icecream that Hiruma "convince" the manager to make...How Sena ended up in the tank is a mystery..._

_From how far away can Mamo-nee smell a cream puff?_

DevilBat: oooo another experiment!

_**Experiment: **__Places creampuff in the forest on the outskirts of the city in a time slot of 1 hour while also placing a spycam on a nearby tree_

_**Results:**__ The creampuff was still there after one hour, but oddly enough the spycam blurred for a few seconds after the time allotted and the creampuff disappeared... _

_Does Mon-mon (Monta) like any other fruit besides bananas?_

DevilBat: Whatttt? Another experiment? Wait, didn't I do this experiment before with a kiwi, banana, and a orange? (He does a experiment anyways just for the heck of it ^_^)

_**Experiment:** Places Monta in dried up well for 3 days that contains the following: A banana, a starfruit, and a box of assorted berries._

_**Results:** Monta came out half-starved because he only ate his banana. The only reason why he survived was because he divided his rations of bananas for 3 days. When ask why he didnt eat the other fruits he only snorted and said "Real men eat bananas!"_

_**~I hope this chapter was as good as all the other chapters! Until next time :)**_


End file.
